


Tools of the Trade

by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: SPN Kink Bingo 2019 [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on an ask, Insane Dildo Collections, M/M, Porn Star!Gabriel, Random Dumb Laws, cop!Lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 10:56:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17445575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: Gabriel gets the surprise of his life when a handsome cop shows up with a warrant.





	Tools of the Trade

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted on tumblr. 
> 
> Written for the Gabriel/Lucifer Square on my SPN Kink Bingo card
> 
> I got this ask that says "Since it's apparently illegal to have more than two dildos in your home in Arizona, I beg of you to use that somewhere. Have someone get arrested for like 10 dildos." from a random anon. Random anon, thank you for the inspo.

Gabriel Driscoll was not that displeased to find a tall, blond, handsome police officer on his porch one morning in Phoenix. “Good morning, Officer-” he checked the name on the officer’s chest- “Morgenstern. How can I help you?” 

“Is this the residence of Gabriel M. Driscoll?” Officer Morgenstern asked. 

“It may be,” Gabriel said. 

“I have a warrant to search this residence,” the police officer said, and Gabriel’s heart sank. “Will you please step out onto the porch?” 

Gabriel reluctantly did so, tying the sash of his robe tighter as another, younger police officer came to stand by Gabriel.

“May I see the warrant?” Gabriel asked. 

Officer Morgenstern nodded and handed him the warrant before ducking into the house. 

Gabriel looked over the warrant, reading over. He looked at the officer standing with him. “Excuse me, what does it mean when it says ‘contraband sexual devices’?” he asked. 

“State of Arizona only allows for two dildos in a residence at a time, Mr. Driscoll,” the police officer said. 

Gabriel paled.  _ Who the fuck reported him about the amount of sex toys he had?  _ He bet it was Baldur. His money was definitely on Baldur. 

Officer Morgenstern came out a few minutes later and nodded. “Radio for back up,” he said. “We’ll need evidence bags. A good amount of them.” 

“How many should I say we need, Luce?” the officer asked. 

“Better make it fifty,” Officer Morgenstern replied. “If not more. Mr. Driscoll, you’re under arrest. Please turn around and put your hands on your head.” 

“This is ridiculous,” Gabriel grumbled, doing so. “Can’t I put on clothes?” 

“You have the right to remain silent,” Officer Morgenstern said, starting to cuff Gabriel’s hands behind his back. “Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?” 

“Technically,” Gabriel snarked, “You didn’t read me anything. You recited something.” 

Officer Morgenstern chuckled as he lead a handcuffed Gabriel out to the police car. “Perhaps,” he said. “But that doesn’t answer my question.” 

“Yes, I understand my rights,” Gabriel huffed as he tried not to think about how hot it was that a very handsome cop had him handcuffed. It was a situation he’d like to be in, preferably in a bed. Or to a wall. He wasn’t picky.  “I want my lawyer.” 

“Down at the station,” Officer Morgenstern said, pushing his head down to get into the car.

  
  


“I don’t  _ care,  _ Sam,” Gabriel said tiredly into the phone down at the police station. “Just get me out of here.” 

“Gabriel, how many dildos do you have?” Sam asked seriously. 

Gabriel closed his eyes. “Attorney-client privilege?” 

“Yes, this phone call isn’t monitored. How many, Gabe?” 

Gabriel was silent for a few moments before answering. “About seventy-six.” 

“ _ Gabriel.  _ I could explain away  _ maybe  _ ten, max. But  _ seventy-six? _ Explain to me how I’m supposed to explain away seventy-four more dildos than is legally allowed.” Sam sounded exasperated. 

“I’m a  _ porn star,  _ Sam, that in and of itself should explain it,” Gabriel whined. “Please? Use some legal trickery?” 

Sam sighed. “I’ll see if I can get you out before your arraignment,” he said. “Just, don’t do anything stupid.” 

“Sam, I’m in a  _ jail cell _ ,” Gabriel hissed. “How am I supposed to do something stupid?” 

“You can run your mouth. Invoke your right to remain silent. I’m on my way.” 

  
  


Gabriel sighed as he relaxed. He spent seven hours down at the police station while Sam did some legal wizardry to get him out of that place. He hoped he could get his dildos out of evidence soon and these ridiculous charges dropped. Can’t a man have an impressive toy collection? Apparently not without breaking the law. 

He sighed again, sipping his wine as he reviewed a contract for an upcoming movie that they wanted him in. It looked promising. A lot of hot people, and also an installment of the Casa Erotica series that had brought him so much fame and fortune in the adult entertainment industry. He’s come a long way from posting amateur jacking off videos on PornHub. 

The doorbell rang. Sighing, he got up, hoping that was his pizza delivery. He really should watch his junk food intake, but considering the stressful day he had, a box of wine and a large supreme pizza was needed. 

It was not his pizza. Instead, Officer Morgenstern was at his door again, a black bag in his hands and wearing fitted jeans and a blue button down that showed off his eyes. 

“Hello, Officer,” Gabriel said. “Can I help you?” 

The look that Officer Morgenstern gave him was predatory. “Seventy-seven dildos,” he said. “That’s an impressive collection.” 

Gabriel shrugged, fire igniting along his veins. “Well, when you’re a porn star,” he said coyly. “There’s one for every reason.” 

“I bet,” Officer Morgenstern chuckled. He held up the bag. “I have a peace offering and a proposition,” he said. 

“Is that legal?” Gabriel asked with a smirk, liking where this was going. Maybe he could turn  _ this  _ into a porn script. 

“Well,” the cop shrugged. “You’re not in custody and it’s not exactly illegal. It’s just. . . not ethical.” 

Gabriel laughed. “I can work with not ethical, Officer,” he purred, allowing his visitor to step into the house. 

“Please,” the taller man grinned wolfishly. “Lucifer.” 

“What’s in the bag, Lucifer?” Gabriel purred, stepping into his space. 

Lucifer pulled out a thick, black silicone dildo. “One of my own, freshly washed,” he said. “And lube. Figured I’d make it up to you for confiscating your collection.” 

Gabriel grinned darkly. “We’re going to have fun tonight.” 

_ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.  _

“After pizza,” Gabriel said. 

Lucifer laughed. “Fair enough. After pizza, then.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell
> 
> Twitter: @Alendra_Dragon
> 
> Comments and Kudos are Shiny!!


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